Talk nice, think mean.

I ask my students “Describe the characteristics of a cop?”  They usually answer the standard “brave” “honest” “caring” until someone accurately says “Arrogant.”  Everyone knows a cop who has the bad attitude and walks around like he is carrying imaginary watermelons under their arms.   The policeman who is so afraid of showing a weakness he talks himself INTO situations rather than out of them.  I thought this would be a great time to talk about the “talk nice, think mean” way to conduct business.  Not every situation requires you to behave in an aggressive and confrontational manner. I don’t suggest that you relax your awareness or trust your suspects, but you can conduct yourself with a certain amount of decorum that displays you are in control of a situation (even if you’re not).  I preface this post knowing that some situations require fast and hard approaches, this isn’t for those life threatening situations. 

If you arrive on a scene with an elevated attitude, it is difficult to go to the next level.  If you come in yelling, you leave yourself no room to escalate your police presence.  If you come in screaming and there is still one punk who isn’t listening, what do you do? Scream louder?  The Talk Nice, Think Mean has you approach calmly, but with authority.  Think of Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge or Dirty Harry. You can tell someone “I understand sir and I will help you with that” while you are THINKING “If you make one wrong move, I will take you down.”  If you say “Sir, I need to you step over there please” and they don’t do it, then you can increase your voice and say it again.  The Talk Nice, Think Mean approach can sometime diffuse a situation rather than irritate it.  Use the power of persuasion!

We have all worked with those tough talking police officers who make your job harder when they arrive on scene.  If you watched the movie Super Troopers then you know that Farva is this type of guy.  They are always clicking their handcuffs, bragging about arrests, or telling you how to do your job better.  Talk Nice Think Mean is designed for them.  Why do they behave this way?  Sometimes it is out of insecurity.  Suspects can recognize this.  Don’t make yourself a YouTube training video titled “jerk cop.”  In today’s world, everyone has a camera.  Talk Nice Think Mean can be what protects you from yourself!  That snarky remark caught on tape might be difficult to defend in the newspaper, no matter how deserving the suspect was to receive it.  Talk Nice, think Mean keeps you calm.  It allows you to keep your cool. 

If you pull a car over and the driver is upset, use Talk Nice Think Mean.  There is no reason to get into a debate on the side of a highway or city street.  Saying “Have a nice day” while thinking of what you may need to do if the person exits the car or approaches you is essential.   

You should also use the in your formal interviews as well.  The T.V. tough talk doesn’t get confessions.  Talking nice allows the suspect to trust you and feel like you are there to help them.  And you are there to help them………help them to confess!

Be safe and Talk Nice, Think Mean.